How to Give Up Alcohol - My Practical Tool-Kit & Guide.

This toolkit introduces five essential "hard tools" for quitting alcohol—practical strategies that provide structure, direction, and purpose to support your journey.

1. Lay your table.

2. Pullers & Drivers.

3. Milestones

4. Support.

5. Hobby.

The hard tools create a solid foundation, but you will also need patience, persistence, and faith to keep you honest on your journey to sobriety. Sobriety requires effort, but the growth and self-discovery you gain along the way make the journey profoundly fulfilling.

By embracing the principles in this toolkit, you'll be well-positioned to achieve your goal.

1. Lay your table.

As a project manager by trade, the very first thing I do when starting a new project is what I call "laying the table." In the project management world, this means establishing a solid structure and governance to set the project up for success. It’s about creating a strong framework to support the entire process. If we were building a house, laying the table would be akin to building a strong foundation. Without it, you risk compromising the structural integrity of the entire house—and, ultimately the project's success.

The same principle applies to your journey toward sobriety. Just as your table is laid for you in a restaurant before you sit down for your meal, you must set up the framework to ensure a successful path forward. For sobriety, this foundation consists of the following key elements:

>Be honest with yourself from the Outset: This is at the top of the list because it’s the most crucial step. You need to have an honest conversation with yourself and be absolutely clear about what you want to achieve on this journey. Is sobriety truly what you want? This question is important because you will face challenges along the way, and unless you're fully committed, you’re more likely to give in when temptation strikes. Failing to stay committed can sometimes have a negative impact, potentially setting you back even further.

Some people unknowingly sabotage their efforts because they’re not fully ready to let go of alcohol—they're essentially deceiving themselves. If you’re serious about this, be honest with yourself from the start. Set yourself up for success by committing wholeheartedly and giving it your all.

>Give yourself a sensible start date: This ties directly into being honest with yourself and setting yourself up for success. You need to choose a realistic start date for your sobriety journey. For example, there’s little point in telling your friends at the pub that you’re quitting alcohol the next day. You might manage to abstain for a short time, especially if you're recovering from a hangover, but soon enough, the novelty will wear off, and you may slip back into old habits.

You may also have upcoming commitments, like a family wedding or a social event, that make starting immediately unrealistic. Instead, set a future date—not too far off, perhaps at the end of the month—when you don’t have too many social engagements. That being said, a word of caution: there will always be a birthday, a wedding to attend, or some social gathering, so you will need to make some sacrifices - My advice is to choose your battles wisely and commit to a sensible start date. This brings me to my next step.

>Avoid Alcohol-Fueled Environments: This step involves avoiding any engagements or commitments that revolve around alcohol in any form. I highly recommend steering clear of these environments for at least the first three months, if you can. It’s crucial to give yourself the best chance at success during this early stage.

It can be especially difficult to stay committed in months 2 and 3 when you're still adjusting and may face pressure from others. Being surrounded by people drinking, especially if they’re making unsupportive comments like “you’re no fun,” can make it even harder to stick to your goals.

>Tidy your House: This may sound a bit of an odd one, but it's crucial. Clearing out any alcohol, like bottles of wine or beer in the fridge, helps eliminate temptation. You can reintroduce these items later, once you’ve built a strong foundation. But for now, remove anything that might lead you to think, ‘Oh why not, I’ll just have one,’ especially after a long day at work. Setting yourself up for success starts with removing easy access to triggers.

Cleaning your living space isn’t just about removing physical temptations—it's a psychological reset. By clearing out alcohol and tidying up your environment, you're symbolically wiping the slate clean and preparing for a fresh start. This act of decluttering helps you mentally transition into a new phase of your life, free from old habits and associations. It's like starting with a blank canvas, where you can consciously create a new lifestyle and routine that supports your sobriety. The clean, organised space mirrors the clarity and focus you're striving to achieve internally, setting the tone for lasting change.

>Keep your tool kit handy: Whether you use my toolkit, combine it with your own ideas, or rely entirely on your own methods, I highly recommend saving it to your phone. Even now, I do this with things that inspire me—positive affirmations, mood boards, and quotes from people I admire, both past and present. I keep a condensed version in my phone’s notes app. The reason is simple: your phone is always with you. So when you find yourself with a few spare minutes—on the train, waiting in line, or during a quiet moment—you can take that time to read through your affirmations, and personal objectives, or reflect on your deeper reasons for staying committed.

This habit of checking in with yourself helps to refocus your energy and remind you of why you're doing this. It also reinforces your commitment, keeping your mind aligned with your goals. It’s essential that you save your “Driver” and “Puller” in on your notes app, two key factors I’ll discuss next, which play a vital role in maintaining your motivation and momentum. Having these reminders at your fingertips is invaluable as you move forward in your journey.

2. Pullers & Drivers.

Once you've "laid your table" and set a strong foundation, you'll naturally start to feel more grounded and prepared for the journey ahead. The next crucial step is identifying your "Driver" and "Puller." So, what do I mean by these?

A "Driver" is the reason pushing you away from your old life with alcohol—it could be the negative experiences or consequences you've faced, like health issues or strained relationships. However, over time, that initial motivation may fade, which is why you also need a "Puller." A "Puller" is something positive that continuously pulls you toward your new life, keeping you moving forward even after the initial motivation from your driver wears off. The combination of both will help keep you on track when things get challenging.

Your driver could be a moment of regret, like getting drunk and that feeling you embarrassed yourself at a work event, or perhaps saying something hurtful to a loved one in a moment you don’t even fully recall. Maybe you've hit rock bottom, and that realisation is pushing you toward change. Only you know what your driver is, but whatever it is it needs to be something deeply impactful—something that makes you think, "I’ve had enough, and I need to change."

The more powerful your driver, the greater your chances of staying committed, particularly in those crucial early months. However, even the strongest driver may begin to lose its potency after some time, which is perfectly natural. This is why it’s essential to also have a puller—something that continues to pull you away from your old life when the initial drive starts to fade. Basically, the pullers take over from the driver.

Your puller represents what you're working toward. For example, if your driver was the guilt you felt after a negative interaction with your loved ones while inebriated, your puller could be a vision of you spending quality time with them, fully present and engaged. Your puller is future-focused, representing things you've long desired but couldn’t achieve because of how alcohol drained your energy and confidence.

A puller could be anything—a promotion at work, a healthier relationship with your family and yourself, fitness goals or simply the immense satisfaction of reaching a milestone like three months, six months, or even a year without alcohol.

It’s crucial to write down both your driver and puller and save them in a notes app on your phone. Even better, create a visual representation, like a mood board, to help reinforce your goals. Mood boards are especially effective for pullers, as they visually represent what you're working towards. Images are more powerful than words, so whenever possible, use pictures that remind you of why you're on this journey and what awaits you at the end.

3. Milestones.

In my previous blog post, I discussed the importance of milestones—and they truly are vital in every aspect of life. Often, we use them without even realising it. On the journey to sobriety, I identify key milestones at 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, and 1 year. In my experience, once you’ve reached that 1-year mark, you’ve truly made it!

While these milestones are fairly common for anyone quitting alcohol, feel free to create your own that resonate more personally with your journey. What matters most is that they keep you motivated and focused on the path ahead.

Month 1: The journey begins. Month one is hard to describe. In some ways, it feels almost easy because the change is new and you're fuelled by motivation and a sense of novelty. However, this initial phase can be deceptive because the real test is still ahead.

Months 2-3 The Test of Resolve. Months two and three are undoubtedly the most challenging and where your commitment truly gets tested. Cravings and triggers are more prominent here, and this is the time when many people feel the pull to return to old habits. But if you push through this phase, you’ll find yourself on the other side with more strength and resilience than you may have expected. While it may be the hardest stretch of your journey, the payoff is substantial—often mirroring the intensity of the effort you put in. Having your tool kit saved to your phone will serve you well at this challenging time. Keep revisiting your drivers and pullers.

Three Months: Tangible Rewards. After three months, the hardest part is behind you, and this is where the rewards start to become tangible. It’s like the effort you’ve put in is mirrored by the noticeable gains. Physically, you’ll feel lighter and healthier, but it’s the clarity of mind that stands out most. Your thoughts will be sharper, your emotions more stable, and overall, you'll feel like a new person. These positive changes fuel your motivation to keep going.

Six Months: Pride and Strength. At six months, you should feel incredibly proud of how far you've come. The cravings and peer pressure to drink still exist, but they begin to lose their grip on you. You’re not as vulnerable as you were in the early months, and this is where your sense of personal empowerment really starts to take hold. The cravings to hit the pub or cave into peer group pressure will still be there, but they’ll be far less intense than they were in months 2 and 3. You’ve now built up strength to be resilient, though you still need to be mindful.

Months 6-1 year: Staying The Course. Months 6 through to 1 year are all about staying the course and reaping the rewards of an alcohol-free life. Rather than focusing on what you're missing out on, you will instead begin to appreciate all the time you seem to now have and all the creative things you can do to fill it. This period is about enjoying the benefits of clarity, vitality, and productivity without the sluggishness that alcohol once brought.

One Year: Transformation and Mastery. Once you hit the one-year mark, you've truly accomplished something monumental. Physically, mentally, and even spiritually, you’ll feel amazing. This is a point of real transformation. By now, the memories of drinking and the pull toward alcohol have largely faded. You may still experience the occasional fleeting urge, but with the strong foundation you’ve built, it's easy to dismiss those thoughts. The root system you’ve established over the year has grounded you in your new lifestyle, allowing you to stand firm against temptations that once seemed impossible to overcome.

4. Support Group.

When embarking on your journey to sobriety, having a support group is essential. This could be your spouse, partner, family members, a close friend, or even someone who’s interested in taking the same path. There are also established organisations like Alcoholics Anonymous, Drinkline, and other support groups that can cater to your specific needs. Support is crucial—not only because the early months can be challenging, but also because your decision to quit drinking may affect those around you, including your partner.

Whether you’re a casual drinker or physically dependent on alcohol, having a support partner is invaluable. They’ll provide encouragement when you need it most and hold you accountable during those moments of doubt, reminding you why it's worth staying the course.

5. Hobby.

I should mention that socialising at the pub or going out on weekends can still be an option, but it’s best to approach this after navigating the more challenging initial three months of sobriety. Even after three months, it’s important to stay mindful. You don’t want to undo all your hard work because your subconscious convinced your conscious mind that you’re ready, even when deep down you know it might lead to drinking.

During times when you feel restless, bored, or tempted to head to the pub, it’s important to keep your mind occupied. This could mean tackling long-overdue projects around the house or discovering a new hobby to dive into. My advice is to choose something you genuinely enjoy and are interested in—not just a hobby for the sake of having one. If you take up painting on a Saturday afternoon but aren’t passionate about it, you’ll likely feel bored or frustrated, which isn’t helpful, especially in those critical first three months, where you may still be tempted to go back to your old life.

Instead, reconnect with interests you had before drinking took over. Maybe it's golf, hiking, model-making, or writing— or whatever used to light you up. You might rediscover a love for your old hobbies. Not only do they help occupy your time and reduce temptation, but they also nourish your spirit, keeping you focused and fulfilled.

Summary:

Giving up alcohol is a monumental achievement, one that you’ll undoubtedly be grateful for. As I write this, a Chinese proverb comes to mind: “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is today.” It’s a powerful reminder that it’s never too late to make a meaningful change in your life.

We mustn’t let our subconscious trick us into thinking, “I’m too old” or “The damage is already done.” These thoughts only hold us back. Making the decision to stop drinking, at any stage of life, can profoundly improve your quality of life—and that’s always worth pursuing.

The tools that I have provided will serve you well. It’s a practical tool kit that you can utilise to keep you honest in your pursuit of sobriety. I’ve often thought that the hardest thing about hard is not knowing how long you have to endure it, which is what makes it hard. Whether it’s a career setback, a family issue, or another life problem, the unknown duration can make the struggle feel heavier. If we knew the endpoint, the journey would be much easier to bear.

When it comes to giving up alcohol, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly when it becomes easier since everyone’s experience is unique. However, I can tell you from personal experience that it does get easier—noticeably so. By tracking your progress against key milestones, you’ll see it for yourself. And after a year, the difference will be undeniable.

Stay strong - The best is yet to come!